In my previous blog, I discussed how many helping professionals give their lives to serving people for change, only to see few individuals transformed. Too often, change is temporary and superficial. I want to continue with this theme. Why do most of us want to change something in our lives but seem unable to actually make the change? What makes it so hard?
This thought became personal to me last week when I realized that Mary Kay and I needed some downtime. It has been a long 8 months preparing for our move, then making the move, and now settling in. Maybe because of our season in life, but this move has been more difficult than the other 16 we have made in our 47 years of marriage. What occurred to me this last week is that while we both acknowledge our need for time to get away, we are indecisive and lack the energy to make this a reality.
Ironically, the very thing that is needed for health is what is lacking.
I think you may have read over that sentence too quickly. The very thing we need for us to be healthy is what is keeping us from getting healthy. Because we are weary and indecisive, we are not making decisions to get away so that we can get rested and restored. You may think this is obvious, but let me suggest that this is true for most areas of life. The very condition, which is evidence of a pathology or that something is wrong, must be addressed for health to emerge.
You may think this isn’t insightful or is obvious but let me illustrate.
Financial health comes through denying oneself short-term desires for long-term needs. The lack of financial health is demonstrated by people who spend whatever they want, whenever they want. They seek to meet all their wants through buying things and often go into great debt or don’t save for the long term. However, this symptom is exactly what must be overcome through denying short-term wants for long-term needs. They must deny themselves the very thing that is demonstrating their lack of financial health.
Mental health comes from setting healthy boundaries for oneself to relax, mentally mature (read, listen, learn, adapt), relationally engage with emotional authenticity, and restore oneself to regular rhythms. The lack of mental health is demonstrated by people who are frantic, anxious, isolated, depressed, and lonely. They continue to withdraw from others and into themselves, often through numbing pain in buying, busyness, work, drugs, and/or sex. However, these symptoms are exactly what must be overcome through intentionally choosing new patterns of living in healthy community and accountability. They must deny themselves of the very coping mechanisms that are demonstrating their lack of mental health.
Physical health comes from developing disciplines around sleep, diet, and exercise. It comes through denying oneself short-term urges for long-term needs. Lack of physical health is demonstrated by eating or drinking poorly, sleeping poorly, and exercising too little. However, these symptoms must be overcome by denying immediate physical urges for comfort in light of long-term health outcomes. They must change the very things that are demonstrating their lack of physical health.
Spiritual health ultimately comes from submission to God in Christ throughout one’s life. The lack of spiritual health is demonstrated by people who want to be in control of their entire lives. They want to determine what does or doesn’t happen. However, this symptom is exactly what must be overcome through submission to God, by giving control of one’s life to Christ. It is only in submitting that they find freedom and health in their spiritual life. But the very fact that they aren’t willing to submit is what is keeping them from being healthy in their spiritual life.
There is a pattern here, and the pattern is the very form that reveals the lack of health in any area. These are the very areas that must be broken for transformation to take place. This isn’t instantaneous and often develops from the inside out. Often external factors force people to face their lack of health like divorce, bankruptcy, anxiety attacks, heart attacks, and so forth, but internal changes often lay the foundation for long-term transformation. So, transformation seldom takes place in an instant.
In Colossians 2.6-7, Paul describes the transformation as follows: “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.”
Notice Paul describes a lifestyle change, not just a confession of Christ…”just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him”…it surely starts with a decision of faith, an initial starting place, but must continue through life, 1) rooted in him, 2) strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and 3) overflowing with thankfulness. Paul’s admonition assumes these followers of Christ were continuing to change in all areas of their lives and that they were in healthy community (as you were taught)
Just writing this motivates me to get out my calendar and plan some days away. We must be decisive to overcome our indecisiveness.
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