One of our new neighbors is processing their pain affiliated with a local church. They said they are burnt out on church. They were on staff of a fast-growing church and saw unhealthy behavior behind the scenes. This kind of behavior can result from leadership not rooted in Biblical principles, or it may also result from leaders who have assumed greater responsibility than their maturity can support. I often find that leaders are pressured to lead beyond their capacity because unrealistic expectations have been placed on their leadership capacity and/or spiritual maturity. This is one reason why Paul warns Timothy to not allow a newer believer to be a leader in a church. (1 Timothy 3.6)
It is interesting to compare the lists of leadership qualifications given in 1 Timothy 3.1-7 and Titus 1.5-9. Paul gives almost identical lists in both passages except he omits the disqualification for them being a newer believer from the Titus list.
Why?
Let me suggest that Paul knew in the church he started in Ephesus, now where Timothy pastored, had been maturing disciples for several years before Paul wrote this letter to Timothy. However, the church he started in Crete, now where Titus pastored, was comprised of all new converts to Christ. So Paul knew everyone in the church Crete were young believers. If he had kept the same qualifications in Crete as he suggested in Ephesus, there would have been no one to meet these qualifications.
Ideally, pastors, leaders, and staff at churches should be mature in every way. However, as with Paul writing Titus in Crete, this isn’t always possible. So, leaders in churches do sinful, selfish, and stupid things. In so doing, they have hurt the Kingdom, themselves, and people on staff or in the congregation. Their poor and unhealthy leadership of a local church has temporal and eternal implications. Everyone in these situations needs wise and honest help to work through the pain resulting from these situations.
I am aware of the growing number of people who have been deeply hurt by leaders and congregants in a local church. I fully understand that the church is comprised of people who are sinners, so we shouldn’t be surprised when there is pain and problems. However, for too long, leaders and congregants have used this to excuse un-Christlike behavior, which should not be tolerated in the church. We are new creations, and therefore, we should demonstrate redeemed behavior, not repulsive behavior.
I have been in too many church settings where there was too much anger, judgment, legalism, criticism, selfishness, and sin to excuse it as “we are human.” In one church, a leader specifically called me the antichrist. This is not a positive label to place on anyone, let alone one who had been asked by leaders to help the church navigate turbulent times of immoral pastoral behavior and threats of lawsuits. In another, I was threatened with a gun.
As redeemed humans, we are new creatures expressing new behaviors. When old behaviors come to the front, they must be dealt with honestly, candidly, and graciously. Otherwise, these behaviors become normal and form a caustic culture in the body. I believe this is one reason why God calls leaders to model and guide the body in health, not in a powerful, autocratic, or critical way, but in a gracious, authentic, and redemptive way. In Colossians 3.7, Paul gives a list of some bad behaviors and says explicitly, “you used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived…” implying their redeemed behavior was no longer ruled by their earthly natures.
I understand there is a tension here. To deal with sinful behavior in the church can become witch-hunting. This is not good for anyone. On the other hand, to ignore such behavior is just as bad. The way I did this as a pastor was by meeting one on one with individuals when I saw such behavior. I asked if what I saw was correct and asked for their perspective. In most cases, it was acknowledged and agreed that it was not acceptable behavior, and we moved on. In some cases when I addressed un-Christlike behavior which I witnessed they left the church. I didn’t always handle it well and I was often hesitant to engage in this role; but this is what Paul challenges the Ephesian elders to do in Acts 20.25-31.
So, how do we find the balance? I don’t believe it is a specific point, but a prayerful and a Spirit led posture. It is a process that seeks to redeem all leaders and followers in a transparent process and must be done so with humility and wisdom.
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