I had lunch with my mentor recently. He is 10 years older and much wiser than I. Every time I am with him, I am inspired to be a better version of myself. Over my lifetime, I have learned a lot about how to benefit from a mentor. As I have written before, I have had a few mentors over my lifetime. I benefited more from some of them than others, but they all shaped me into who I am today. The reason some impacted me more than others wasn’t because of their abilities but my inabilities limited their impact on my life.
Earlier in my life, I was like a sponge, soaking up whatever I could from my mentors. I wanted to be like them, so I learned with all my senses about all their ways. But as I aged, I realized my mentors were not like me in some significant differences, so I could never be exactly like them. Therefore, I began to learn from specific areas in which I would benefit. The older I became, the more selective the areas that I looked to glean from my mentors.
After my lunch with my mentor, his wife intentionally told me that she appreciated my staying in contact with him. The thought struck me quite hard; my mentor benefited from our time together as well! I remembered a decade ago hearing about one of the mentors I listed in my post had died long before I heard of his death. I was hurt, that I wasn’t told about his death. The season of our mentoring relationship had passed, and I had failed to stay in contact with him. I learned that mentoring, like every relationship, is giving and receiving.
Some people wonder why I continue working at my age. I really think it boils down to giving and receiving in relationships with other leaders. I am so much better at what I do as I invest in others. Leaders who are very different from me sharpen me and enable me to invest better in other leaders.
As I met with my mentor, he reminded me of God’s calling on my life, as well as God’s anointing for this calling. He challenged me to remember how God had gifted me to do what he had called me to do. I was reminded how Paul similarly reminds Timothy of the same thing at the beginning of both letters he sent to Timothy.
1 Timothy 1.18…Timothy, my son, I am giving you this command in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by recalling them you may fight the battle well…
2 Timothy 1.6…For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline…
It is such a privilege to look back at the last 50 years and see how God put mentors in my life. I wouldn’t suggest they made my life easier, but they made it easier to handle my life. They sure made it more productive and effective.
As a result of having mentors in my life:
- Difficult roles developed my skills rather than defeating me.
- Challenging experiences developed my character rather than tempting me to cheat.
- Learning environments taught me wisdom rather than leading me to feel stupid.
- Nurturing relationships built confidence and competence rather than arrogance and selfishness.
- Key positions led to influential private impact rather than public applause.
- Opportunities opened for me to use my unique gifts for God’s Kingdom rather than building my own empire.
- Disciplines encouraged me to stay healthy physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually rather than getting old before my time.
I could not have designed my life to replicate these seven factors in my development through a more intentional living plan. Each of them worked in my life beyond my ability to orchestrate. Some people think they are self-made, but their thinking belies their foolishness. They are simply ignorant of the many ways they developed which were totally beyond their ability to perceive or understand. God has used mentors in my life to script me and sculp me into his image. And for that I am eternally grateful.
My only prayer is that God will use me in the lives of others in similar ways. Nothing can give a life more significance than this.
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